Look for him in the office (i.e. the penalty box)

Tonight’s visit to GM Place by the Anaheim Ducks marks the much-heralded return of Todd Bertuzzi (a.k.a. Penaltuzzi) to Vancouver.

I am not going to say much about it, though. The boys over the Kurtenblog have already done it better. An excerpt, for your enjoyment:

The fact is, even when Bertuzzi was playing like the premier power forward in the game, he was tough to like. Mostly it was the arrogance, the kind that every bar star in the city loads up on before donning the wife beater avec chains and hitting theclubs for some vodka-Red Bulls and general douchebaggery. Bertuzzi was their hero. He was the Vin Diesel of the NHL. Let’s put it this way: the kind of guys thatwear No. 44 replicas are not the KB’s kind of guys. If you own a Bertuzzi jersey and are offended by that, we don’t apologize. However, we do think your Honda Civic has cool rims. What, no ground effects? You should ask Mr. Lube for a raise.

Pure gold.

At any rate, it also marks the return of a team that knocked the Canucks out of the playoffs in the second round last year, only to go on to win the Stanley Cup.

Oh, what could have been! I fondly recall sitting in a Montreal bar with one of my best friends (out visiting on business from Vancouver), a huge Canucks fan, watching game 4. The Canucks took a 3-0 lead at GM Place and looked poised to tie the series at two games apiece, heading back to Anaheim. Then, disaster struck: the Canucks somehow, inexplicably even to this day, pissed away what appeared to be an insurmountable lead, allowing the Ducks to tie the game and send it to OT. Of course, as you might expect, the Ducks ended up winning the game in the second OT period (incidentally, just as we had moved to another bar, hoping it might reinvigorate our good fortune). With the Ducks up three games to one, the series was all but over.

But, if the Canucks had won. Who knows? Perhaps they win the series and meet Detroit in the Conference Finals. Perhaps they win a series against a team they matched up well against. Perhaps they win the Stanley Cup…

Alas.

Anyway, here is to hoping we see Bertuzzi re-acquainted with his old office at GM Place tonight.

Ahh yes, Bert’s favourite penalty: Unsportsmanlike Conduct. Usually received for consistenly yapping, moaning, and complaining to the ref.

Notwithstanding the enjoyment of a Canucks win, I ask you: Is there anything more quotable/hilarious than a sour, angry, dejected Bert post-game in the locker room? I didn’t think so.

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